


Bad Days

by orphan_account



Series: Peter and the Tower [31]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Tony Stark, Depression, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, Light Angst, Mental Health Issues, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Michelle Jones has Depression, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24099514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Everyone has bad days.ORDifferent looks at mental health and disorders in Stark Tower.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Harley Keener, Michelle Jones & Pepper Potts, Michelle Jones & Tony Stark, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Peter and the Tower [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220861
Comments: 13
Kudos: 145





	Bad Days

**Author's Note:**

> It's here! Thank you to everyone who helped me with this. I know a lot of you shared personal stories with me and I appreciate every single one. I tried my best to make this as accurate as possible! There will be more chapters, each covering a different person and disorder. I might even write some chapters with the same disorder but how different people experience it differently. I don't know yet! 
> 
> Also, I know what you are thinking:
> 
> You: But Sammy, you already have 3 chapter works which you rarely update.
> 
> Me: *Nervous Laughter* Well, um, I'm trying??? And here's a 4th, yay!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this and happy reading!
> 
> TW: Depression, Depressed Character, Depression Characteristics, Dissociation Characteristics, Self-Deprecating and Self-Hating Thoughts

MJ couldn’t recall if she had fallen asleep last night or if she had been awake the whole time. She vaguely remembered staring out the window until the sun appeared. 

It could have been hours.

It could have been minutes.

An alarm went off.

A feeling had settled in her. A numbness. The fingers usually attached to her hands felt cut off and dead. Oddly enough, MJ couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

Did she really care about anything? Was it all a trick of her mind? She was just using Tony and Pepper for a home. But-wait. No, she wasn’t. She loved them. A voice in the back of her mind laughed in pity at its host. Did she actually believe that? Better yet, did she actually believe they loved her? Why would they? She was a cold, emotionless, poor kid. Tears pricked her eyes as her mind worked.

Right, the alarm.

Should she reach over to turn it off?  _ Could  _ she? 

She let it ring. FRIDAY had the courtesy to turn it off after a minute or two. 

Normally at this time, she would be heading to Peter’s room to shower and get ready for the day. Yet she felt depleted from all the energy and life that pushed her to do so normally. 

So she stayed. She stayed in the same place. Looking out her window and trying not to dive too deep into her thoughts. 

The sun was up now. The day was supposed to start. MJ tried to force herself up. She had school and lots of work to do for Pepper today. She couldn’t afford to have a bad day. She didn’t deserve it. Nothing was going wrong. She had the perfect life. Couldn’t she just appreciate it for once instead of making everything sad and about her?

“M?” A voice filtered into the room from somewhere behind her. She didn’t turn to face it. Her glossy eyes hazily trained on the window. Footsteps echoed as Peter walked closer to her. Her bed dipped as he set his knee down to climb on.

Her mind was at war with itself. Half of her wanted nothing more than for Peter to wrap her in his arms and hold her as she cried. The other half positively screamed that she didn’t deserve him. A sliver in the middle felt nothing, empty, and only wanted to be alone. That sliver washed over the other emotions like a flood.

Peter leaned over to study her face for a moment, reading every inch of her. An understanding frown appeared on his face as he gently lowered himself to lay down next to her, resting his head on one hand.

“Bad day?”   
  


She squeezed her eyes shut. No, she couldn’t have a bad day. She was busy today. She couldn’t let a few emotions, or lack thereof, get in her way. Tears escaped her eyes yet she never answered or faced her boyfriend.

A gentle hand laid on her arm. 

“Why don’t you stay home today, okay? Just focus on getting better.”

She had to get up like yesterday. She had to prove that she was fine! Because she was fine. She was always fine (maybe one day it would actually be true). 

Her body fought her today, mentally and physically. The numbness in her fingers had evidently spread to her toes. MJ tried to sit up, roll over, anything, yet her mind kept her down. Locked in a prison only she could see. Defeated tears finally escaped her eyes.

Peter stayed patient and soothing, never looked at her in disappointment or sham. 

“Michelle, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to have bad days. I know you are trying your best, baby.”

She jerked her head slightly, hoping that he would receive all her appreciation and relief from that tiny movement. Slowly, she managed to crane her neck to look at him, tears in her dead eyes staring at his loving ones.

He gave her a sad smile. “There’s my girl.”

Peter leaned down, pressing a light kiss against her cheekbone. 

“Now, I’ve got to go to school. I’ll see you when I get home. Call me or text me if you need anything. I love you.”

She wished she could tell him she was sorry. She wished she could plead with him to not leave her. To stay with her. Yet she stayed silent, only managing to roll back over towards the window. 

A part of her soul and being left as his loving hand fell from her arm. Footsteps faded, only pausing for a second at the doorway before walking into the hall. A steady stream of tears etched her skin as she stared meaninglessly out the window. 

She was exhausted. Maybe her body would finally let her rest. Maybe if she slept, someone would eventually come to wake her and care for her. The lovely voice in her head cackled. As if. She believed it this time.

* * *

Her body was stubbornly determined to not fall asleep. She was in and out for who knows how long. It was unpleasant and she wanted nothing more for her mind to decide. Either sleep or stay awake. It decided on a foggy middle.

She wasn’t sure the time. The sun was fully set now, bringing the room into a lightness despite the dark feeling inside her. The light didn’t infect her though. It didn’t seep into her and make everything alrigh as she desperately hoped it would.

A knock on her door.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Shockingly, she didn’t respond. 

“I brought you something to eat.”

Tony walked over to her nightstand and set the plate down gently. 

She expected him to leave. He didn’t. Instead he scooted next to her on the bed, back resting against the headboard. A soft hand rested under her back and pulled her to a sitting position. 

She let it happen. Not fighting yet not really helping either. 

Now, she was fit into his side. She felt like a void of emptiness. Not even having the capacity to say a thank you. Her head rested on his shoulder, legs curled into her body and leaning slightly on his.

Tony wrapped an arm against her back to support her, the other grabbing the plate and resting it on his lap. 

“Can you try to eat something?” 

His voice was strong and supportive. Like he knew she was trying yet couldn’t do _anything_ for the life of her. His question wasn’t forceful, full of care and love instead. She found herself nodding. 

She looked down to the plate. It was full of her favorite fruits and nuts. A lazy hand reached and picked a strawberry from the plate. Gingerly, she took a bite of said fruit. It didn’t really taste all that exciting, but Tony hummed happily so she continued eating. A pistachio here, an orange there until a little under half the plate was gone.

She didn’t know why but she started crying. And not a small little hiccup, a full on sob. Never ending drops fell from her eyes and a horrible gasping was coming from her as well as she tried to take a breath. What had started this? MJ could recall nothing.

Tony set the plate back on the nightstand and wrapped both arms tightly around her. He rocked her gently. All she could do was grip his shirt in her fist and hold on tight. He whispered comforts to her. Telling her it was okay to cry, telling her he was proud of her, telling her that he was there for her.

The sobbing lasted for some time. MJ couldn’t seem to calm down and Tony never shushed her or tried to stop her. 

MJ noticed she wasn’t crying anymore. Only staring off into space. How long had it been since her meltdown? How long had the duo been sitting there? Tony had yet to let go.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Tony suggested a while later. A walk. That could be good. She found herself nodding. “I’ll let you get ready, okay?”

“... okay.”

Tony pressed a kiss to her forehead and detached himself from her. 

“I’ll be in the common room.”

And then he left. 

MJ sat on the edge of her bed for a while, staring at the floor. She eventually willed herself up to walk to her wardrobe. She felt like a zombie, feet dragging and empty mind. Although slower than usual, she managed to get herself changed out of her sweatpants and pajama shirt and into a new pair of clothes. Still sweatpants, but different ones and a long sleeve shirt to combat the slight chill in the air over the last few days. 

She entered her bathroom. Was that really her in the mirror? She didn’t recognize the figure as herself. Her hair ended up in a pathetic looking bun, but the reoccuring feeling of not having the motivation to care coursed through her.

She stepped out of her room to find Tony, waiting on the couch and working on something on his Starkpad. He looked up when she entered, a small smile on his face. 

“Let’s go.”

* * *

They exited the tower out the back way. The duo walked close enough to where their shoulders were bumping into each other every so often. They walked down the busy streets, traffic and people hurrying one way or another. MJ felt like she and Tony were frozen in time, the only ones not a part of the chaos in Manhattan at the moment.

Tony pointed out little bakeries and cafes that he liked, MJ shrugged in response and pressed herself a little closer to him. They eventually arrived at the local park and took to walking around it in silence. 

MJ took in the nature, breathing deeply and letting it wash over her. It was nice and peaceful. Tony looked around, admiring the beauty of it while also keeping an eye out for anyone who might cause them trouble. Thankfully, the park was pretty empty at this time. I mean, it was the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. 

They walked around for thirty minutes or so before MJ started to feel slightly uncomfortable. She wanted to be back in her safe space at the tower. Bless Tony, he obviously picked up on her unease. “Why don’t we head back?”

  
She nodded and grabbed his hand, because, yes, that sounded good. He led them back to the tower in no time. MJ was feeling a little better at this point. A little lighter. A little more energy in her. Yet nothing enough to push her out of the fog.

* * *

Peter and Harley got home shortly after MJ and Tony. MJ had quietly requested to be alone so here she was now, back in her room, this time staring at the other wall of her room rather than the window. That walk had taken a lot out of her.

She sighed heavily and settled her bones back into the bed, eyes growing heavy once again. The door of her room opened slowly, and Peter’s face popped in. She brought her gaze to his face. 

“Hi, baby.”

“... hey.”

“Can I lay with you?”

She nodded hesitantly. Peter grinned and hopped into bed next to her. He wasted no time in pulling her into his arms. Finally. She relaxed against him and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

“I missed you.”

She replied by exhaling heavily and shakily into his sweater. MJ started crying again for some reason that she couldn’t identify. Peter didn’t comment on it. Only rubbed her back soothingly and never let her go.  They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for an amount of time, MJ couldn’t really place. She could stay in his hold forever. Although she was having a hard time connecting herself, her emotions, and the world at the moment, she knew in her heart she loved him. That would never change. 

“How about we watch a movie in the common room?”

That sounded nice, maybe. If there weren't a lot of people out there. MJ nodded slightly, tightening her grip around his neck. Peter laughed lightly, he knew that meant she wasn’t walking. He managed to fumble out of bed, her in his arms, and into a standing position. 

He held her securely as they trekked to the living room. Harley was the only one there, working on something, probably homework or a new design, on one end of the couch. Harley looked up at them briefly, his eyes meeting Peter’s in an unspoken conversation, before returning his focus back to his work.

Peter gently lowered her to the couch and then slid in next to her. 

“FRIDAY, play Avatar.”

The movie started. MJ usually loved this movie because Neytiri and Dr. Grace Augustine were badass women. But today she couldn’t find her usual enthusiasm and interest for it. It didn’t make her smile that her boyfriend knew it was one of her go to movies. It didn’t make her smile when the first scene appeared on the screen. It was kind of just… there.

She settled against Peter’s chest, staring at the screen in a state of indifference. Then someone was handing her something. It was a mug with a tea bag string over the side. She looked up at Harley. She hadn’t even realized he had gotten up. She reached up and took it from him, mustering her best attempt at a smile. It barely reached her lips and only held for a fraction of a second.

Harley leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Here ya go, doll.”   
  


She took a sip. Mm, chamomile. 

Harley smiled when he saw her drinking it and returned back to his place on the couch. MJ clutched the mug in her hand, soaking in the warmth it brought to her fingers and chest. She took small sips, wanting to keep the heat in her hands for as long as possible.

She woke to a gentle pulling at the object in her hands. She blinked her eyes drowsily. Huh, she didn’t realize she had fallen asleep. She tilted her face upwards to stare at Peter’s. He removed the mug from her hands and set it on the coffee table.

“I didn’t want it to spill,” he explained, pressing a kiss to her temple. She nodded slightly and rested her head on his collarbone. It looked like the movie was a little ways past the middle. 

“How you feelin?”

MJ thought for a second before shrugging. “Murky. Empty. Drained.”

Sad for no reason, she left out.

Peter nodded and squeezed her tight. “I’m glad you feel comfortable telling me. I’m… I wish you could feel better.”

“... me too.”

The elevator opened and Pepper and Tony stepped out, holding bowls. 

“We brought dinner!” Tony announced to the floor. Tony handed one bowl to Harley and the other to Peter, both who mumbled a thanks. Pepper handed the bowl in her hands to MJ. 

“Wanda made it. It’s like healthy ramen with cod, eggs, veggies, and noodles,” Pepper explained. 

“Thanks,” MJ said quietly.

“You are very welcome,” Pepper said. She smiled at her mentee, running a hand through her hair and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “Are you going to be okay?”

MJ nodded. She was always okay.

“If you need anything, Tony and I are only a few floors away.”

“See you later, kids. Be good!”

Pepper linked arms with Tony and the couple disappeared back into the elevators. MJ couldn’t help but be thankful for her guardians at that moment. They knew she got easily overwhelmed by people when she was having a bad day. She also knew that they both probably wanted to coddle her and care or her, yet she was thankful they didn’t.

The trio ate in silence, all eyes trained on the movie. MJ took the longest to eat, shocker. While the boys finished in 10 minutes, she was still taking small bites from hers when the movie finished.    
  


“I think we should turn in early tonight,” Peter said aloud. MJ was feeling kinda drowsy, come to think of it.

“Okay.”

Peter got up and took their bowls to the sink and then circled back to the couch to gingerly take MJ’s hand and help her stand.

“See you tomorrow, Harley,” Peter called. Harley waved them goodbye and headed to the elevators, going to work in the labs or go hang with the LDs, most likely. Peter changed into a pair of pajamas while MJ settled on laying herself on his bed. 

“Come brush your teeth,” he said, standing in front of the bed. She didn’t respond. She didn’t really want to get up.

“Come on,” he repeated gently as he pulled her up so the duo could walk to the bathroom. And, of course, a perfect time to start crying. She wept lightly as he dragged her towards the bathroom.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I know it’s hard right now,” he soothed gently as he handed her a toothbrush with toothpaste. That made her sob harder as she shoved it in her mouth and brushed with barely any effort. After a minute she washed her mouth out, eyes puffy and red. P eter washed his mouth as well then pulled her into a hug. Her sobs were loud as she clung to him tightly. She was embarrassed. Ashamed of her actions, because really, something as simple as brushing her teeth threw her into the deep end.

Yet Peter held her. Not questioning the reasons or why. She gasped and wheezed into his shoulder, trembling and wishing for this all to end. When her meltdown had finally calmed down, Peter led them back to bed.  MJ pushed herself against Peter’s chest, eyes closed as another tide of exhaustion ran over her.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s okay,” Peter assured her.

She didn’t say anything else. Peter’s hand running circles on her back soothed her into a calm and fuzzy state. Before she knew it, she was asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed it! Yell at me in the comments! Also I do appreciate constructive criticism. 
> 
> I'm still taking information, so if you have something you would be willing to share about mental illnesses and mental health, if you are comfortable, please do so in the comments or email me @shirsbluesammy@gmail.com . Thanks and till next time!


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